RiRi_Ritchie on Datingish

Sunday, 13 June 2010

Awkward sex moment anyone?

Last month when the colleges here let out, my boyfriend was offered a place at one of the church goers that needed the help, we'll call him G. Well, for a while now G has been blind and depended on his wife for the cooking, transportation, helping him match his clothes, etc. Well, because my boyfriend, K, wasn't going back home for the summer he took up the offer to stay with G, and up until last weekend we've seen each other every day almost all day. We've helped G with dinner and transportation on occasions, and we've even gone on a date that was awesome, not to mention the fact that the food was amazing!

K and I have also gotten closer in other way as well. Now, we've been having sex pretty much since we've started dating, I wouldn't have it any other way because it only helps me see that sex isn't the only thing I love about him. In fact I would be perfectly fine if we refrained from doing the dirty until after we're married, if it (hopefully) gets that far. Anyway, when he was in school we really weren't having sex that often, at least to me, and then school let out, which was only about a month ago, and we've managed to find time, and the privacy, to do it. One of the spots he has taken a liking to in his truck...and that's only because we were drinking and our make-out session went a little farther than intended.

Well just a couple of weeks ago we found ourselves in one of those situations where he had managed to get on top. Now make no mistake we don't plan these situations out, they just happen. It's hardly ever a time were we're like "How about we do something a little fun and funky tonight." No, nothing like that. It's always the whole "How the hell did that just happen again," sort of thing, but what was different about this time, was his question that left me speechless, to say the least. If I were to reveal one thing that's unlike me, it would be having nothing to say, so this was also surprising to me that night.

Before I go into what he asked me, I'll tell you about our conversation just a week before. This conversation consisted of me taking the plan-B, and start birth control. I was somewhat surprised that he came to me about it and actually wanted me to start birth control. That would normally mean the guy had no intention of stopping the whole sex thing 'till we're married, right? And we both want kids and all, but that wont happen until a while after the wedding or we're both out of college, or at least me so I could take care of the baby, but that still didn't prepare me for such a question that he had managed to render me speechless with.

He's made sure to pull out each and every time we've had sex and he needed to, but to randomly ask "What would you think if I didn't pull out," to someone who isn't ready to have kids, hasn't started BC yet, and is getting ready to start college, that was a bit of a WTF moment. And he's how our conversation after that sort of went:

Me: "....What?"

K: "Well you're on BC."

Me: "Um...not yet."

K: "Well that kind of ruins that fun."

Me: "Say what?"

So, as you can see that's kind of....awkward. I was trying to figure out what he meant by that while laying there about to say goodbye to him, and nothing came to mind other than the fact that he wants something else perhaps? Has anyone else been in awkward situations like this? What did you say? How did you handle it? Is that something that should put red flags up for him wanting to add something else to our little world?

Sunday, 30 May 2010

Love and Soldiers

My boyfriend and I have been dating for four months, five on the 24th of June. He has been in the National Guard for four years and he loves it. He goes to dill in OK once a month and he has fun with it, for the most part, sometimes he claims it can be boring, but still, he loves it. I, however, do not like it. I've tried so hard not to date men in uniform, but that didn't quite work out. I got hooked on men in uniform since I started talking to a friend who is a police officer, which that's not so bad, so I'm ok with that, but that led into the tall lean man in the military I love so much.

So far our relationship has been great. I would put it under the category of 'real relationship', mostly because we don't act like two people claiming to be dating, but surprisingly don't have any arguments or fights, just the nice juicy kiss every now and then, or the couple that randomly decides to hook up and then get married after about two months. No, we have our fights, over stupid things too, but we get over it quickly, or we talk about it, and refuse to pout about it for more than a day. I feel that is what I like to see as a 'real relationship', with communication and all. I was recently accepted into the college he was attending as well, which I feel will help us get to know each other even more than we already have.

But, I only have one semester of that. You see, my boyfriend's unit is destined to be shipped over seas in May of 2011 for a year, though he has intensive training starting in March, and then he gets shipped, so it'll only be like ten months without him, but still, that's a long time. It is probably naive to say, but I believe our relationship is strong enough to last those ten months apart, save the two week vacation he has during that time. I think it'll be good for us, 'absences makes the heart grow stronger.' I like to believe that.

My only problem with this, is that he's going to be in Afghanistan being shot at while I'm safe and sound on campus. The thought drives me insane more than being apart for so long. I'm scared of how I'll handle it. I know I'll cry, but will I go into depression? Or will I fall into temptation and cheat? I pray to God that I don't, but still, the possibility is very much real, as much as I do not want to admit it. I'm trying to think of ways to keep myself busy while he's gone, but I wont be in that hectic stage of my first semester anymore, and I'll have a pretty slow moving second after Christmas break, so the possibilities of keeping my mind busy are almost lost to me.

If you were in my shoes how would you handle this situation? What would you do to keep your mind busy and off your missing S.O. and to make time go by faster?